Learning and Life – different strokes for different folks

Having more time than usual on my hands so pondering and meandering about. Feels like I am wasting time – not actually – I know there is some plan there. Message to Self = Trust the instinct. You did let Her out the suitcase and if you think you are still driving the car you are mistaken.

So what does one make of this – a 17-year-old tells you still have a lot to learn? This is in response to her notification on Facebook that she is in a “complicated relationship” with some  ex UK bloke - 20-year-old - who is now living in the cultural no-man’s-land (read mining midlands east of Jozi).
You would have to pay me zillions of dollars to live there – but hey it is probably better than Manchester -  the weather is at least! not so sure about the air and water quality. It just does not compare to Cape Town – sorry  

But wait – he has 1212 “friends” on Facebook.  
And has only completed one year of post school studies and records that as an “achievement”. Heaven knows what he is doing now. Oh I do not have to wonder … this bloke does not block his Facebook – every single comment is open for the world to see – and so is every single comment each of his 1212 friends make on his wall - as well as their status updates. I bet they do not know that …

I think I get this – this is the modern version of the notches on the bedpost! Only now it is virtual – probably phone & webcam … at least it is safe – the only virus you could get is the computer variety. But it does make relationships very cheap, very fast and very plastic.
For me that is sad – as what I long for most is a life partner with whom I can walk the road of life in a soulful way.

I wonder if the younger generation is losing valuable interpersonal skills as a result of this “friend” thing on Facebook. Do they have real close friends who they can trust and with whom they can connect at a deep level, share things that the world does not need to know? Perhaps they have 2 levels – the deep level and the more public level?

And the public nature of it all – I do not think I want to announce every relationship I have and its status to the world … I suppose that is a choice and definitely a generation thing. My generation value privacy – today’s teenagers perhaps do not.
BUT – when they go job hunting their prospective employers WILL Google them and see their whole life in cyberspace … that may NOT desirable me thinks.

This prompts me to list what I have learnt so far and what works for me in navigating our complex ever-evolving world …
1> Be discerning who you spend your precious time with – online or physically
2> Be conscious of what you share with whom and why – all the time!
3> Know thine self very well – respect your needs and values and distinguish them from ego wants and infantile drives and tantrums – otherwise you later think why the hell did I do X, Y or Z …
4>Playing games with sex can be fun – but it mostly ends in tears – ’cause sex is much more than physical – it is a soul activity and you mess with it at your peril – buy a vibrator and read Dr Eve’s pillow book!
5> People’s bodies age – their souls do not have to – read, listen, ask questions, talk, and learn no matter what your age.
6> Learn from others’ mistakes – do not repeat them – rather make innovate mistakes of your own – have the courage to follow your convictions but don’t be stupid about it.
7> LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE (she is always right)!!!
8> Sleep enough – your subconscious needs processing time and your dreams are very important messages.
9> Breathe deeply and slowly - how wonderful to relax into what IS.
10> Move into flow = physically and emotionally = YES, I AM ALIVE

So my dear cousin – I know where you are – I pray that the angels who protected me will also protect you. As I also thought & did what you are doing now - it just came in a different shape with different wrapping …
No Facebook, no cell phone, no text messages…

Made a telephone call on one of those yellow phones with the round dials, my Greek boyfriend came to fetch me the Easter after my matric year (I was 18) and I moved in with him – 2000 km away from home. My father’s last words: “Do not ask me to get married. I will say no. Call me if you need help.”

Thank you to my guardian angels and She who guides me from within. I survived my very late teenage rebellion with very little permanent scarring and loads of learning.

Thank you to my parents who were always there and loved me for who I am – I just did not see it. Took me 38 years to see them as just people, humans, who love me with all their heart. I love them back now, and do not need them to be perfect.

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~ by 40zen on February 28, 2010.